My Immortal
by TearsInTheDarkness
Summary: It's a songfic to the Evanescence song by the same name. You'll just have to read it & see what it's about. R & R.


My Immortal  
  
I don't own Evanescance's song "My Immortal" or Gundam Wing. All I own is.. Holy crap, I don't own a freaking thing! Lyrics will be in Italics.  
  
"Duo," Heero whispered next to me, "I think we should start seeing other people."  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears.  
  
He broke away from our intimate embrace, and got out of our bed. I couldn't believe it. Heero was serious. I didn't get it. We had just had the most amazing night of our lives and Heero just. ended it.  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Heero packed his things slowly, as if delaying his departure. Once he left, I felt lonely, like I often had when he was being distant. I looked around the apartment. Everything was Heero.  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
Afterwards, I couldn't look at Heero, I couldn't be around him. Nothing was healing me. I was depressed, in pain. Nothing was right in my life.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Even now, almost two years later, I wonder why he left me. And I never got over heero's love. He is still everything I ever wanted. I was so good to him, you know.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me  
  
Heero still has my heart. He always will. I know I'll never fall in love with anyone else. Heero was the one, my shooting star.  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating life Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
He left me with nothing. I'm still stuck with Heero. I'm superglued tto the promise we made years ago. I have to grow old with Heero. And since he's not here to be with me, I must do this alone. I'll never be able to fall in love again, even if I wanted to.  
  
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
I can never sleep anymore. I dream about him. I need to change my answering machine. Heero's voice escalates from it. Every single time the answering machine plays, I die a little more.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your tears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me  
  
There have been so many times in the last one and a half years that I have hurt myself intentionally. My wrists are permanently scarred, my neck is bruised, my lungs are filled with water. I won't die. I wish I could.  
  
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me I've been alone all along  
  
The razorblade moves across my wrist so easily. Blood seeps from my veins. I indulge in the shearing sting from my wrist. It feels so amazing, like I'm finally loved. Heero never did love me.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me  
  
The phone comes to life upstairs, ringing mercilessly. I don't care. I just want to lie here, dying, in a pool of my own blood. There's the answering machine, and Heero's voice.  
"Duo," says that same deep, timid voice, "it's me, Heero." My heart jumps. "I'm sorry. You're all I can think about. I do love you. I'm so sorry. Come back to me, call me. whatever. The number here is 555-0101. I love you."  
I laugh at the irony, which only makes the blood flow quicker. I'm dizzy now. I know I'm dying. I hope that, after I'm dead, Heero will see that my suicide is his fault. I close my eyes, knowing I'll never open them again. Good-bye, Heero, good-bye.  
  
You still have  
  
All of me. 


End file.
